Nothing’s worse than athlete’s foot. Okay, maybe jock itch. Have you ever googled “jock itch” while working on an assignment for Lotrimin? Yikes. Have you ever googled “jock itch” while not working on an assignment for Lotrimin? Yikes. Anyway, back to athlete’s foot. It itches, burns, cracks and scales like some sort of reptile foot. It can get so bad that you wish you had a new pair of feet. Ding! Imagine a store where guys could buy new feet. Big feet, small feet. Black feet, white feet. Hairy feet, smooth feet. Any feet they want. Except feet that are both big and hairy. Because those are for hobbits.